The mystery behind my mind

Midnight is just like life and death sentences, you really don`t know if you`ll wake up or not. It`s midnight when I used to do what I want, and our living room was my sanctuary, it was what I used to be my garden where I can tell my good and evil desires and pretences. I want to overcome this evil feelings but it`s so hard to exert those feelings and difficult to understand. I pushT myself to be good though it` s hard but it seems to be like everythings done I know I`ve change but the almighty one want`s something more. Things were going heavier and more complicated as I step on the doorways of eternal joy. But what am I? Makes me sad is when I was spiritually bothered with malicious murmurs in my mind, something which is not good  and keeps the pain in my heart. This is what the evil that I can say in my living room what I called garden. Not only those bothers but also the faithlessness that keeps in touch with my mind, so hard to predict who he is but I know he`s the powerfull one who can help me cure those pains and threats in my mind and soul. what makes me bothered is my dark past that sscares me so much. If that would be a documentary video everyone will be scared with what I`ve done. If there`s bad then there`s good what make`s me happy is when I remember the name of the four angels in our designated religion on reign.
This is the story that I tell in my garden, actually I was in my bedroom but I can`t go down cos Freddy Kreuger awaits to have fun.